


Traiterous Heart

by Marmeladeskies



Category: In a Heartbeat (Short Film)
Genre: Apologies, Cute Kids, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gender Roles, Heteronormativity, M/M, at first i used the wrong fucking name for the whole fic god damnit, it's fixed now, sherwin realizes he likes boys, they're really innocent and it's cute, this film is adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 15:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11694846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marmeladeskies/pseuds/Marmeladeskies
Summary: He wonders if his heart is broken. It's supposed to beat like this for a girl, not a boy!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, if you haven't already, go watch In A Heartbeat. It's the most precious thing ever, and Sherwin and Jonathan are incredibly adorable. <3  
> Enjoy! and visit me on tumblr: marmelade-sky.tumblr.com

Sherwin’s mommy wears daddy’s heart on a necklace, and his daddy wears mommy’s heart in the pocket of his shirt every day, and Sherwin thinks this is how it’s supposed to be. 

-

Their kindergarten teacher reads them stories about a knight and a princess falling in love, their hearts jumping out of their chests and holding hands after the knight saves his princess from the evil dragon guarding her, and Sherwin listens to their teacher explains that hearts know true love. 

-

When he’s in 1st grade, his auntie gets married to her boyfriend, and Sherwin is very happy when he watches her walk down the isle, her heart jumping up and down on her shoulder while her fiancé’s heart waits anxiously next to him. When they embrace at last, Sherwin sniffles and hides his face in his mommy’s skirt. She smiles down at him and pets his hair. “One day, when you’re all grown up, and your heart has picked a nice girl for you, mommy’s gonna cry at your wedding, too.”, she tells him sweetly, and for some reason, Sherwin’s chest feels a little weird. He isn’t sure why, and as soon as he’s got ice cream at the reception, he forgets about it anyway. 

-

A new Disney movie comes out when Sherwin is in third grade, and he watches it with his best friend Mathilda. It’s about a girl cat and a boy cat who live on the streets and get into adventures and fall in love in the end. After they’ve watched it, Mathilda wants to play as the characters from the movie, and Sherwin happily obliges. However, something bugs him.  
“…Tildy?”, he asks while they’re in the process of throwing all the pillows from the couch to the floor to build a super cool kitty shelter, “…can I be the girl kitty?”  
Tildy tilts her head and considers it. “…sure!”, she says, and reaches into her hair to pull out a hair clip which has a pink butterfly on it. It looks almost exactly like the bow the cat in the movie has on her head. Tildy clips it into Sherwin’s hair while he holds still. “Okay.” Tildy steps back and looks at him critically, before her face breaks into a big smile and she claps her hands.  
“Let’s play now!” She dashes off on all fours, meowing, and Sherwin follows her happily.  
When they’ve been playing for a while, Sherwin’s brother comes home with his friend in tow. “What do you have on your head, Sher?!”, Frederick asks, and Sherwin immediately feels his cheeks heat up. He covers the butterfly clip with his hand.  
“Nothing!”  
“You look like a girl!”, Fred teases him and Sherwin feels his bottom lip wobble.  
“Are you a girl, Sher? Sherwina?” Fred’s friend laughes and Sherwin wishes Tildy had never given him her hair clip. “Sherwin is a girl! Sherwin is a girl!”, his brother chants now, and Sherwin turns around, hiding the tears spilling down his face. Fred is so mean!  
“Stop teasing him!”, Tildy scolds Fred with her hands on her hips, and they start to fight, because Tildy is afraid of no boy, not even when they’re 12 already.  
Eventually, mommy comes home and breaks the fight up. Tildy has to go home, and Sherwin retreats into his bedroom, avoiding mommy’s eyes. He rips the stupid butterfly clip out of his hair and stuffs it into the bottom drawer of his closet. Stupid butterfly clip. Stupid Fred. 

-

Grandma and Grandpa are visiting, and Sherwin is really happy. Grandma makes the best cookies and Grandpa can carry him around on his back all day. They’re great.  
When Tildy comes over to play, Grandma looks at her and smiles. “Oh, Sher, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend!”, she cooes playfully, and it makes Sherwin feel weird. He can see Tildy’s cheeks flush pink, too.  
“She’s not my girlfriend!”, he blusters, but Grandma just smiles and nods knowingly. Tildy is weird to Sherwin afterwards, and he doesn’t know why. 

-

When Sherwin is in middle school, one girl and one boy in his class give their hearts to each other. It doesn’t happen often at their age, but sometimes, it does. Sherwin watches as all the girls crowd around the girl, squealing and giggling, while the boy gets teased by his friends. After it happens, the teacher takes them out of class, and their parents are called. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s rare, and the adults have to make sure the two of them are alright.  
“I wish my heart would choose someone for me!”, Tily sighs in math class afterwards, and Sherwin just looks at her with his eyebrows furrowed. “It’s so romantic!” She clutches her chest and sighs again. Sherwin looks at her critically. He can’t imagine giving his heart to any girl. His heart has never even made a peep, so he thinks he might be safe for some more years.

-

In the middle of 9th grade, a new boy comes to their school. Apparently, he’s transferred from some other school after his family has moved here or something. The teacher introduces him as Jonathan. He has dark, perfect hair and the bluest eyes and he smiles shyly at the class when he’s introduced. His eyes dart over them nervously, and then they meet Sherwin’s. 

_Ba-dunk._

Sherwin startles so badly that he almost falls out of his chair. Tildy turns to look at him with eyes like saucers. Sherman clutches his chest and runs out of the classroom. He spends the remainder of the period in the bathroom, locked in a stall, legs tucked under and crying. His heart flutters between his lungs whenever he remembers Jonathan’s blue eyes.

-

He avoids Jonathan at all cost. And yet, he can’t stop thinking about him.  
Jonathan seems to get along with everyone just fine, even though he hasn’t really made a lot of friends yet since he always has his nose in a book. He’s smart, always knows the answers to the teachers’ questions. Whenever he speaks in class, Sherwin has to clutch his chest or cover his ears. His stupid, stupid heart is a traitor.  
He wonders if his heart is broken. It’s supposed to beat for a girl like this, not a boy! Sherwin tries forcing himself to look at girls, even at Tildy. But none of them make his heart jump and warm up like Jonathan does. 

-

His aunt throws a birthday party in her backyard which they are invited to, the family, and his aunt’s friends, too.  
There is food and Sherwin gets to play with his aunt’s dog, which is nice. Fred has brought his girlfriend Natasha. Sherman thinks she’s far too nice for Fred.  
His aunt’s friends are funny. There’s a woman with pink hair, a man with tattoos up his arms and two men who Sherman can’t stop looking at for some reason. They seem weirdly… close, and they look nice, and actually really normal compared to his aunt’s other friends. One of them catches Sherwin staring, and gives him a little smile. Sherwin realizes there is a heart in front of him on the table, and it happily holds hands with the other man’s. Sherwin blushes violently, and flees into the house where he hides in the kitchen.  
His aunt joins him after a while. She sits down next to him on the floor, where he’s playing with his phone, and cocks her head.  
“My friend thinks he’s accidentally startled you.”  
Sherwin blushes again and quickly shakes his head. “No, it’s alright. I’m just… tired.”  
His aunt chuckles. “Do you always sit on the kitchen floor when you’re tired?”  
Sherwin just shrugs.  
“…they’re gay.”, his aunt simply says after a while, “…they like each other. Their hearts chose each other.”  
It sounds so simple, but suddenly, Sher’s eyes sting and he has to rub at them to make it stop.  
“…it happens sometimes, you know?”, his aunt tells him, and reaches out to rub his arm gently. “…nothing wrong with it.”  
Sherwin just nods, but doesn’t look at her.  
She hugs him tightly before she goes outside again.  
-  
Sherwin thinks he’s gay, and he has to tell Tildy because if he doesn’t, he might explode.  
He cries when he tells her as they sit in the tree house in Tildy’s backyard, and Tildy just listens. When he’s done talking and looks at her anxiously, she just looks back and says “Oh.”  
His heart drops, and his bottom lip starts to wobble again. What if Tildy doesn’t want to be his friend anymore? What if she thinks he’s weird?  
But after a moment, she leans over and hugs him, and he melts against her.  
“I’ve always wondered why you weren’t as stupid to me as the other boys.” She wipes his tears away with the sleeve of her shirt.  
They spend the rest of the afternoon talking about boys and eating chocolate ice cream in the tree house. 

-

His heart is a traitor, and because it is, it gets ripped in two.  
It’s the worst day of Sher’s life, he thinks so when he sits hidden behind the tree in the school yard, and cries over the half of his heart which he cradles in his hands, and the dull pain in his chest.  
Of course Jonathan doesn’t like him back, why should he? And now everyone at school knows he’s gay and not normal.  
Sherwin is missing class, but he doesn’t mind. He’ll never come out of his hiding spot, never ever again.  
When someone sits down next to him, he startles so badly that he almost drops half his heart.  
It’s Jonathan, who looks down at him with an uncertain expression. Sherwin thinks Jonathan’s gonna punch him any second now for embarrassing him so badly, and tucks his shoulders up.  
Instead, Jonathan sits down next to him, and inches closer. Sherwin is so surprised that he forgets to move away when Jonathan reaches out, holding the other half of his heart.  
He puts them together in Sherwin’s hands. They fit like puzzle pieces. Jonathan closes Sherwin’s fingers around the two broken halves, and they warm up in Sher’s palm.  
There’s some wiggling, and then, when Sherwin opens his hands again, his heart smiles up at him excitedly.  
“Here you go.”, Jonathan says quietly, and when Sherwin looks over to him, he sees that he’s smiling. Sher’s heart, of course, swishes out of his hands and against Jonathan’s cheek.  
“OhmygodIamsosorryheartwhatareyoudoingstop!” Sherwin scrambles for his stupid heart, cheeks heating up instantly, and he topples over reaching for it and suddenly he’s on top of Jonathan and oh god.  
His heart makes the most satisfied noise when he looks down at Jonathan, horrified, and Jonathan looks up at him with wide eyes, too.  
And then, suddenly…

_Ba-dunk._

Sherwin can feel the movement against his own chest, and quickly sits up. Jonathan blushes furiously as his heart beats louder and louder and harder and harder and then-  
Sherwin’s heart squeals happily when Jonathan’s heart joins it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your kudos and comments, they make me really happy <3 :) enjoy!

Sherwin can’t believe that he gets to stare at Jonathan without having to be ashamed now. And he can’t believe Jonathan, sometimes, catches him when he turns around in class, and his whole face lights up when he smiles at Sherwin and it’s beautiful.

Sherwin blushes and smiles back and then Jonathan blushes too and Tildy just sits next to Sherwin and giggles.

-

As nice as it is to know Jonathan likes him back, and as nice as it is when Jonathan hugs him in the morning before school and that they sometimes hold hands when noone sees, it’s still not easy.

Sherwin’s mom and dad are shocked at first when he tells them, crying, that his heart has chosen someone, and then they’re even more shocked when he tells them it’s a boy. 

His dad doesn’t say anything at first, and his mom says “Oh.”, and Sherwin can’t help but cry even harder. They don’t fight, because Sherwin doesn’t fight with his parents on principle, he just retreats into his bedroom and cries into his pillow and texts Jonathan who’s cute and asks if he can do anything, but he can’t really. 

An hour later, there’s a knock on his door, and it’s Mom. She comes in and sits on Sherwin’s bed with him and holds out a bowl of chocolate ice cream. “...I’m sorry, sweetie.”, she says, and Sherwin doesn’t look at her because he’s crying again, “Dad and I just... we didn’t expect that. Or maybe we just... didn’t pay enough attention.” She reaches out and pets his auburn curls. Her hair is the same color. 

“I was really scared to tell you.”, Sherwin whispers and wipes his nose with his sleeve. 

His mom sighs. “How long have you known?”

“A while.” Sherwin shrugs. “I thought if I just tried hard enough that feeling would go away...”

“Oh, Sher.” His mom puts the bowl down on his night stand and pulls him into her arms, hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry you were so afraid. We love you, very much, no matter what. And if your heart has chosen this... boy for you, then he must be right for you. You have a good heart. It wouldn’t just pick anyone.” 

Sherwin wraps his arms around her, and it feels like, maybe, just maybe, everything’s gonna be okay. 

-

His dad needs a little longer to come around, and he’s a little weird around Sherwin for a while, but then, one morning, he offers to drop Sherwin off at school on his way to work. 

They sit in the car, and the radio plays some top 10 pop song Sherwin actually kind of likes, when his dad says: “So, are you gonna bring this boy around some time?”

Sherwin almost chokes. “Uh...yeah... I guess...?”

His dad grunts in response. “....s’he have a name?”

“Y-yeah.” Sherwin swallows, “....Jonathan.”

“Ah.”, his dad grunts again. 

They proceed to the school in silence, but Sherwin can’t help but smile when he waves at his dad as he drives away after dropping him off. 

-

The same evening, Frederick comes barging into Sherwin’s room. Sherwin is reading and texting Jonathan, but Fred just throws himself into Sherwin’s bed and grabs his book and phone, dropping them on the carpet. 

“So.” He grins at Sherwin, and Sherwin knows he’s gonna say something stupid or mean right now. 

“I can’t believe I’m the one you tell last!”

Sherwin furrows his eyebrows. “...what?” 

Fred huffs and smirks. “...that you’re in luuuuurve!” He draws out the word in a stupidly cheesy way, and Sherwin rolls his eyes while feeling his cheeks flush pink. 

“I had to hear it from my friend, whose little brother is in your year! And then mom tells me she and dad have known it for weeks now?! What the hell, brother?” Fred punches Sherwin’s arm, but not hard enough to really hurt. 

Sherwin tries to push him off, but Fred is bigger than he is and four years older. He’s also an idiot. “Because I knew you’d be mean about it!”

“When have I ever been mean about anything?!” Fred clutches his chest dramatically. Sherwin just looks at him with his eyebrows raised.

“...alright, alright. But I need to know who that guy is! I have to give him the classic ‘if you hurt my brother, I’ll kill you’-speech.” 

Sherwin blinks. This is oddly sweet. He had expected Fred to be stupid about it, tease him and be mean... but this? It’s actually really nice in Fred’s own, weird way. 

“...don’t do that please. I’ll only tell you who he is if you promise me you won’t do that!” Sherwin grabs his phone from the floor where Fred has tossed it before, and crosses his arms. 

“Psh.” Fred reaches for the phone. “I’m not making any promises. How did you even meet?” Sherwin glares at him until Fred sighs and slumps. “...alright, alright. I’m not gonna tease you, and I’m not gonna try and scare him. Only if he doesn’t treat you right. Now spill the beans.”

Sherwin glares at him some more, but eventually relaxes. “So, he transferred to our school some months ago...”

-

Jonathan’s parents don’t live together anymore, Sherwin knows by now. When Jonathan tells them (seperately), his mom reacts wonderfully, but his father tells him that he’s going to hell. 

It’s awful to see Jonathan cry, and Sherwin can’t help but feel guilty. Their hearts hold on to each other, nestled into Sherwin’s lap while he and Jonathan sit in Jonathan’s mom’s living room and Jonathan sniffles into his shoulder. 

“Dad and I don’t even get along, but... still.” Jonathan wipes his cheeks dry with his palm, and looks at Sherwin with his ocean colored eyes. “I wish he’d just... try to understand.”

“I’m sorry.”, Sherwin whispers and reaches out to wipe a teardrop from Jonatha’s chin. “Can I do anything?”

Jonathan shrugs. “...no... you being here and being you is already helping.”

“Okay.”, Sherwin replies, and lets Jonathan lean against him again.

-

At school, the response to their relationship varies.

Thanks to Sherwin’s traiterous heart, everyone knows about them, so there’s really no such things as a big coming out. 

Some people react poorly, and at first, the slurs yelled after them in the hallways hurt Sherwin. When he eventually tells him mom about it, she gets really angry and makes some very, very stern phone calls the next morning. 

It gets a little better after that, and it helps that Sherwin’s friends are all very supportive. Tildy is still ready to fight anyone who so much as looks at Sherwin (and Jonathan) wrong, and his other friends are all varying degrees of cool with it. 

One day, at lunch, a girl comes up to Sherwin. She’s in the grade below him, and he isn’t sure if her name is Angela or Angelica or something completely different. 

“...I just... I just wanted to say it’s nice knowing I’m not the only one at school.”, she tells him quietly, and he needs a moment to understand what she means by that, but then it clicks, and he smiles at her. She smiles back shyly. 

Sherwin keeps thinking about that short conversation the whole day, and it makes him smile.

-

They’re becoming friends at first, him and Jonathan. Even if their hearts have chosen each other, they’re still very young, and they barely know each other.

Sherwin’s mom thinks she needs to give him “the talk”, but when Sherwin (blushing crimson) tells her that he and Jonathan only hold hands and hug (and there won’t be anything else going on for a long time either), she looks very relieved. 

They watch lots of movies, and sometimes they just hang out together. Jonathan reads so many books every week, and sometimes, he reads out loud to Sherwin. Sherwin loves his voice, it’s soft and really nice, and sometimes he falls asleep when Jonathan reads to him. 

Sherwin learns that Jonathan has a dog named Kylie who likes stealing Jonathan’s lunch from the counter.

He learns that Jonathan’s favourite superhero is Wonder Woman. 

He learns that Jonathan loves oreos and hates snickerdoodles. 

He learns that Jonathan hates it when anything messes up his hair, but loves to run his fingers through Sherwin’s curls. 

He also learns that Jonathan gives the best hugs in the whole wide world.

-

They become inseperable. 

Sherwin’s parents love Jonathan. “Such a polite boy!”, his mom always cooes, and Sherwin’s chest fills with pride whenever she mentions it. Sherwin’s dad calls Jonathan “Jon.” and drives them to the movies or the lake.

His aunt gifts him a rainbow flag, and Jonathan helps him hang it up in his room. (They’re allowed alone in there, but only when Sherwin’s parents are home. It’s awfully embarrassing.)

“Tadaa!” Sherwin steps back and looks at their master piece. It’s a little crooked, and one corner flaps forward, but Sherwin is still very proud. 

Jonathan laughs. “We should have used pins instead of tape.”

Sherwin shrugs. “Eh. ...if it doesn’t hold, you’ll just have to come over again.” He turns to Jonathan and smiles. “...thank you, for helping me hang it up.” 

Jonathan smiles back and reaches for his hand. “...no problem.” 

Sherwin steps closer to him, and Jonathan reaches out and pulls him into one of those lovely, perfect hugs which Sherwin always melts into. 

“You know it’s actually called a pride flag?”, Jonathan says after a moment of quiet.

“Really?”, Sherwin asks, voice muffled by Jonathan’s sweater.

“Uh-huh.” Jonathan is quiet for a moment. “...I’m really proud to have you.”

Sherwin’s heart squeals happily and Sherwin hides his blushing face and huge smile in Jonathan’s shoulder.

-

High school is a little scary at first, but most of their friends are in the same class as them, and Sherwin gets to sit next to Jonathan in most classes. 

Jonathan has grown a lot, and Sherwin can’t believe he’s several inches taller than him by now. He kind of hopes that he’ll grow some more, too, but he also hopes that he doesn’t grow too much, because it’s really nice to snuggle his face into Jonathan’s chest. 

Homecoming approaches, and Sherwin is weirdly excited for it. As they watch older students hang up garlands and posters announcing it, Sherwin looks to Jonathan, who, nose buried in yet another book (”Simon vs. the Homo Sapien Agenda”, reads the cover), is slowly eating his salad. 

“Do you wanna go with me?”, Sherwin blurts out, and then blushes furiously. 

Jonathan looks up, a little startled. “...go where?”

Sherwin motions to the posters, “...homecoming.”

Jonathan follows his gesturing hand, and then blushes, too. He gives Sherwin a smile and nods. “Yeah, of course.”

“Cool.” Sherwin can’t help the huge grin that threatens to split his face in half.

-

After it’s over, they walk home together. They don’t live far apart, and Sherwin’s mom has promised to fetch him from Jonathan’s house. He hasn’t called her yet.

Sherwin’s wearing one of Fred’s old suits and a green button up and a matching tie. His mom couldn’t stop cooing over how handsome he looked before he left the house. 

Jonathan is wearing a suit, too, and Sherwin can’t stop looking at him. He looks kind of grown up, and really handsome. Sherwin is very proud that Jonathan is his... his boyfriend. 

“So... here we are...” Jonathan smiles sheepishly when they’re in front of his house. 

Sherwin smiles back equally as bashfully, and takes out his phone. “I’ll... I’ll text my mom.” He does, and she replies immediately. It'll take her maybe five minutes until she’ll be here. 

“...that was really nice.” Jonathan smiles and rubs the back of his neck.

“Yeah, it really was.” They’re so close, best friends, or even more than that, but right now, the air feels all charged as if there are sparks flying. Sherwin’s heart is unusually quiet right now, but he can feel its excitement. 

Jonathan steps closer and reaches out, taking Sherwin’s hands in his. They’re suddenly really close together, and Sherwin’s real heart, the one in his chest, starts to race as he looks up at Jonathan. 

“Do you... do you want to kiss?”, Jonathan asks very quietly, and Sherwin’s gonna explode any second now. 

“Y-yeah.”, he replies equally as softly. 

“Okay.”, Jonathan whispers. For a moment, neither Jonathan nor Sherwin move.

“I...I think you need to stand on your tip toes.”, Jonathan sheepishly smiles. 

“Oh! Yeah. Yes. Okay.” Sherwin rocks forward onto the his tip toes so Jonathan’s face and his face are on the same level. Jonathan holds his hands firmly enough so he doesn’t lose balance. 

Before Sherwin can lose his nerves, he does probably the most courageous thing he’s ever done: he leans forward a little more and pecks at Jonathan’s lips. 

It’s quick, and quickly over, but it’s their first kiss.  
When Sherwin climbs into his mom’s car minutes later, he’s still blushing, and smiling from ear to ear. 

His mom just gives him a knowing look, but doesn’t comment. 

When Sherwin lies in bed later that night, and grins up to the ceiling, he thinks that maybe he’s a little glad that his heart is such a little traitor.


End file.
